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Eminem - Trife Thieves Radio Freestyle
I'll shove a gun in your grill, greasy and heated
Smothered in hot mustard, so when I feed it to you it's easy to eat it
You need to be immediately treated while you're breathing
Or you'll be leavin the receiving room this evening with Jesus
You hate on us and we'll be waiting on eight corners
Swarming your hood with a thousand angry skateboarders
I hop in a jeep and slam on the gas and charge you
And bombard you in the car that your mom bought you
Mess around and get choked and found in a moat
Floating around drowned, face down in a boat
I'll pile five dudes in a Pinto and pull up
To the 7 Mile drive-through at McDonald's and piledrive you
I got the power to snatch a driver out of his Eddie Bauer
When he drives by me at 90 MPH
This place is my house I might as well erase my face with white out
Cause y'all can't see me like Mase's eyebrows
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Eminem - If I Don't Like You Freestyle
I'm renewing the staff after the inaugurals
And hiring all girls as interns
If I don't like you, I'll snatch you out of your mic booth
While you're rappin and pull your right through the window and fight you
I'll take you straight to the pavement
Uppercut you, and scrape your face with a bracelet
Like a razor just shaved it
Three drinks and I'm ready to flash
Running on stage in a g-string, with a bee sting on my ass
It's probably ya'll ‘cause I ain't awkward at all
I just like to walk through the mall, stop, and talk to the wall
And have a relapse after I just fought through withdrawal
Hop in the car little girl, I just bought you a doll
The Bad & Evil movement is coming
Plus the music is pumping like a pill freak with a tube in his stomach
I write a rhyme a day
So it's no wonder how come your whole album
Is sounding like a bunch of shit that I would say
Whether it's one verse or one letter
I'll probably be the cleverest one that never gets spun.. ever
It’s Slim Shady & Tony Touch, it’s only us
The rest of y'all are just stuck in the middle wit Monie Love
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Eminem - Keeping It Raw Freestyle
I'm keeping it raw, illegal like Maleek and Jamal
Cause I don't believe in the law, like I'm Steven Segal
Flippin off the police while I'm leaping a wall
Take some Tylenol and fall asleep in the mall
I got your little son, you'll be receiving a call
You're lucky this little punk still breathing at all
F the world, this is how I get even at y'all
Pop shit, get rolled up, and leave in a ball
I'll hit you in the mouth and sink your teeth in your jaw
You won't be able to eat shit, not even a malt
This lethal assault is giving you a reason to stall
Cocking this deuce deuce and I'm squeezing it off
The first burp and a fart, sniffle, sneeze and a cough
Gets your arm chewed off like you was teasing a dog
I'm cold enough and hot enough to freeze and unthaw
I kick my girl out in 10 degrees in a bra
You faggots turn yellow like the trees in the fall
I'm shitting on rappers (Where's Shady?) he's in the stall
All that's left of your niece is a piece of her doll
And all that's left of her puppy is a leash and paw
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Eminem - Middle Of The Kitchen Freestyle
My mom sent me up to the store with a food stamp
For a pack of cigarettes and a book at the news stand
Two dudes ran up and jumped out of a blue van
I looked down at the ground and picked up a huge branch
I swung it at the first dude, the other one with 'em
Seen it snap so fast it looked like it broke before it hit 'em
So he tried to rush, I swept his legs, pinned him and bit 'em
He came back with 6 or 7 dudes screaming, "Get him!"
I grabbed one, lit him on fire, pinned him and bit him
The next faggot gave me his shoes like they didn't fit him
One by one, I just kept dropping them in a rhythm
Then I woke up swinging in the middle of the kitchen
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Eminem - Light Speed Freestyle
I stay higher than racial tension, with a facial expression
Tensed up like I'm suffering from a case of nasal congestion
Eyes hazel complexion, beige, age still in question
Critics hate my tape, kids can't wait for the next one
As long as there's rejects, my tape never ejects the deck
That's the level of respect each CD gets
While ya'll graspin at straws like me snorting crushed Aspirin
And ghasping at air and collapsing in malls
I'm just a realistic impression of artistic expression
Who's tape is in the deck when kids shot up the delicatessen
So owhen I launch a verse full of controverse
That'll haunt you worse than Ma$e before he joined a church
I'm sorry kids I dismissed this class
I'm going back in the broom closet to sniff this gas
Um, Mr. Mathers just missed the bathroom
Pissed his pants and the world still kissed his ass
This is my last album 'cause this is my last Valium
Just pick my ass up when I pass out in the bathroom
If ya'll don't like the shit that you're hearing
Just blow me til you lips get to smearing
And I can se emy dick disappearing
That means we're taking over this year, you heard? (x2)
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Eminem - Phone Tap Freestyle
I'm ice grilling you, staring you down with a gremlin grin
I'm Eminem! You're a fag in a women's gym
I'm Slim, 'cause Shady is really a fake alias to save me with
In case I get chased by space aliens
A brainiac with a cranium pack
Filled with more uranium than a maniac Saudi Arabian
A highly combustible head
Spasmatic, strapped to a craftmatic adjustable bed
Layed up in the hospital in critical condition
I flatlined, jumped up and ran from the mortician
High speed, IV full of Thai weed
Looking Chinese with my knees stuck together like Siamese
Twins, joined at the groin like lesbians
Pins and needles, hypodermic needles and pins
I hope God forgives me for my sins
That probably all depends on if I keep on killing my girlfriends
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Eminem - Brandy & Ma$e Diss
Hand me an eighth, beam me up and land me in space
I'ma sit on top of the world and spit on Brandy & Ma$e
I'm more than ill
Scarier than a white person trapped in a room with Lauryn Hill
Human horror film, but with a lot funnier plot
And people will fill me 'cause I'ma still be the mad rapper
Whether I got money or not
As long as I'm on pills and I got plenty of pot
Ill be in a canoe paddling, making fun of your yacht
But I would like an award
For the best rapper to get 1 mic in The Source
And a wardrobe I can afford
Otherwise I might just end up back striking at Ford
And you wonder what the hell I need more Vicodin for?
Everybody's pissing me off
Even the No Limit tank looks like a middle finger sideways
Flipping me off
No wonder I'm a grave danger to my health
Why else would I kill you and jump in the grave and bury myself?
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Eminem - DJ Jazzy Jeff Verses
[Verse 1]
At birth I was born with the biggest middle finger on earth
The first time I went to stick it up the shit hurt
Moms wouldn't take me, the bitch still hates me
One day she said, "Go rake leaves," I said, "Make me!"
I'm proud to announce I'm probably the first kid
Who was kicked out of his house for making fart sounds with his mouth
Arguing with me and mom was on-going
She called the law enforcement when I broke the lawmower
The slut gave me a truck when I turned sixteen
I went to start it and it screamed, "Please fix me!"
Back then, when Will Smith was still the Fresh Prince
And him and Jeff were still best friends, I guess then
I decided to cut class to rap full time
And get the fuck outta the fake ass school and rhyme
Anybody who thinks this fuckin attitude is a gimmick
Come and see me, see if I don't live up to this image
You fucking pricks!
[Verse 2]
I came to my last show on a horse swingin' a lasso
Drunk with the asshole ripped out of an old bathrobe
'Cause I don't give a fuck, you better understand that
Two Xanax and I give a fuck what I SoundScan at
Fuck Billboard, drugs is what I kill for
I'm Happy Gilmore, you slip me anything in pill form
I may mingle but I plan to stay single
Play bingo and drink, get old and watch my face wrinkle
Sike, I'm 24 Thursday; six more birthdays
And I'm blowing my brains out when I'm thirty
As long as my heart beats I'ma keep tryin to see
How much speed I can eat before I fall the fuck asleep
So "I'm the Rapper, He's the DJ"
I'm the one thats got the six year old nephew screamin "F/U/C/K"
So Jeff, give me a scratch
Y'all can kiss my ass until your lips stick to my pants
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Eminem - Kay Slay Love Me Freestyle
My music is soothing, but it's also been proven
That it can put you in the mood to jump out of your car while it's moving
You've been waiting on this moment
My sermon is like an omen, I'm servin', I'm Eric Sermon
I saw the window was open and I jumped through it
My shit, if you don't get pumped to it
I quit, here's my rhyme book, go 'head and thumb through it
And pick what you want from it, rummage or find something
You can use to jump someone and roll up bumping
I'm constantly copping over you, squatting
Shit has gotten to the point where I aint even writing no more
I'm just jottin', this is chicken scratch
Shit is sickening, I've been kicking ass, off bullshit throwaway rhymes
Pick a batch, I live for the love of rap, you crazy?
I've made beats for Jay-Z for free, page me
You need a beat, you Canibus then it's Dre's feec
You Kay Slay the fees waived
I stay beefing with J.D. 'til the day Dre 2-ways me
That it's okay to stop blazing him
Oops! I put it out, I apologize now, it's too late, G
It's on tape.. and the tape leaked!