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Eminem - Trife Thieves Radio Freestyle
I'll shove a gun in your grill, greasy and heated
Smothered in hot mustard, so when I feed it to you it's easy to eat it
You need to be immediately treated while you're breathing
Or you'll be leavin the receiving room this evening with Jesus
You hate on us and we'll be waiting on eight corners
Swarming your hood with a thousand angry skateboarders
I hop in a jeep and slam on the gas and charge you
And bombard you in the car that your mom bought you
Mess around and get choked and found in a moat
Floating around drowned, face down in a boat
I'll pile five dudes in a Pinto and pull up
To the 7 Mile drive-through at McDonald's and piledrive you
I got the power to snatch a driver out of his Eddie Bauer
When he drives by me at 90 MPH
This place is my house I might as well erase my face with white out
Cause y'all can't see me like Mase's eyebrows
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Eminem - If I Don't Like You Freestyle
I'm renewing the staff after the inaugurals
And hiring all girls as interns
If I don't like you, I'll snatch you out of your mic booth
While you're rappin and pull your right through the window and fight you
I'll take you straight to the pavement
Uppercut you, and scrape your face with a bracelet
Like a razor just shaved it
Three drinks and I'm ready to flash
Running on stage in a g-string, with a bee sting on my ass
It's probably ya'll ‘cause I ain't awkward at all
I just like to walk through the mall, stop, and talk to the wall
And have a relapse after I just fought through withdrawal
Hop in the car little girl, I just bought you a doll
The Bad & Evil movement is coming
Plus the music is pumping like a pill freak with a tube in his stomach
I write a rhyme a day
So it's no wonder how come your whole album
Is sounding like a bunch of shit that I would say
Whether it's one verse or one letter
I'll probably be the cleverest one that never gets spun.. ever
It’s Slim Shady & Tony Touch, it’s only us
The rest of y'all are just stuck in the middle wit Monie Love
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Eminem - Keeping It Raw Freestyle
I'm keeping it raw, illegal like Maleek and Jamal
Cause I don't believe in the law, like I'm Steven Segal
Flippin off the police while I'm leaping a wall
Take some Tylenol and fall asleep in the mall
I got your little son, you'll be receiving a call
You're lucky this little punk still breathing at all
F the world, this is how I get even at y'all
Pop shit, get rolled up, and leave in a ball
I'll hit you in the mouth and sink your teeth in your jaw
You won't be able to eat shit, not even a malt
This lethal assault is giving you a reason to stall
Cocking this deuce deuce and I'm squeezing it off
The first burp and a fart, sniffle, sneeze and a cough
Gets your arm chewed off like you was teasing a dog
I'm cold enough and hot enough to freeze and unthaw
I kick my girl out in 10 degrees in a bra
You faggots turn yellow like the trees in the fall
I'm shitting on rappers (Where's Shady?) he's in the stall
All that's left of your niece is a piece of her doll
And all that's left of her puppy is a leash and paw
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Eminem - Middle Of The Kitchen Freestyle
My mom sent me up to the store with a food stamp
For a pack of cigarettes and a book at the news stand
Two dudes ran up and jumped out of a blue van
I looked down at the ground and picked up a huge branch
I swung it at the first dude, the other one with 'em
Seen it snap so fast it looked like it broke before it hit 'em
So he tried to rush, I swept his legs, pinned him and bit 'em
He came back with 6 or 7 dudes screaming, "Get him!"
I grabbed one, lit him on fire, pinned him and bit him
The next faggot gave me his shoes like they didn't fit him
One by one, I just kept dropping them in a rhythm
Then I woke up swinging in the middle of the kitchen
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Eminem - Chauvinist Pig Freestyle
Chauvinist pig, drove in this big Lincoln 'til it went over the bridge
Jumped out and dove in a ditch
Broke in a mobile home and stole the stove and the fridge
Kidnapped the parents and left a randsom note for the kids
I'ma go for your mids, here's a body blow for your ribs
While you clutching your stomach and falling all over your bitch
I know where you live, your girl showed me your crib
Unless she told me a fib, then I'ma have both of you did
Burning incense, facing a murder sentence
Under intense investigation for killing infants
While I sit in padded rooms doing shrooms
Having visions of dead pregnant women with brooms jabbed in they wombs
Slit your carpet and rugs and mess your apartment up
Sticking up Arbor Drugs and jumping in garbage trucks
I'm from the gritty slums that look like the city dumps
Give you a kidney punch and mug you to get me lunch
See me in the summer, laying up in the dumpster
With a hundred dollar jumper, smothered in Southern Comfort
Got my Slim Shady sticker on your mother's bumper
She came home screamin a bunch of motherfucker's jumped her
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Eminem - The Watcher Freestyle
Things just ain't the same for psychos
Guns and rifles, sharp knives, I like those
I might just O.D. by the end of tonight's show
With the right dose I might wipe out this light pole, but
The strangest things can happen from jabbin'
Pregnant women in the abdomen 'til they can't have children
Bitches get slapped up and drastic ass kicks
Gay-bashin' fags with tire irons and ratchets
I seen 'em come, I've watched 'em go
Versace (Whoa, hey!) Liberace (ho!)
I might of bashed somebody you probably know
Buncha faggots in your crib screamin' "It's not me! No!"
Drag 'em out the closet and across the flo'
Went and paid 'em a visit in the hospital
Stab 'em in the fuckin' tonsils with a popsicle stick
And sit back and watch 'em choke
'Cause every chair that I throw
People sue me for dough
They press charges on me
So I can’t fight anymo'
But every girl that I choke
I got lawyers I know
Who got judges they know
So I suggest you stay home
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Eminem - Light Speed Freestyle
I stay higher than racial tension, with a facial expression
Tensed up like I'm suffering from a case of nasal congestion
Eyes hazel complexion, beige, age still in question
Critics hate my tape, kids can't wait for the next one
As long as there's rejects, my tape never ejects the deck
That's the level of respect each CD gets
While ya'll graspin at straws like me snorting crushed Aspirin
And ghasping at air and collapsing in malls
I'm just a realistic impression of artistic expression
Who's tape is in the deck when kids shot up the delicatessen
So owhen I launch a verse full of controverse
That'll haunt you worse than Ma$e before he joined a church
I'm sorry kids I dismissed this class
I'm going back in the broom closet to sniff this gas
Um, Mr. Mathers just missed the bathroom
Pissed his pants and the world still kissed his ass
This is my last album 'cause this is my last Valium
Just pick my ass up when I pass out in the bathroom
If ya'll don't like the shit that you're hearing
Just blow me til you lips get to smearing
And I can se emy dick disappearing
That means we're taking over this year, you heard? (x2)
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Eminem - DJ Jazzy Jeff Verses
[Verse 1]
At birth I was born with the biggest middle finger on earth
The first time I went to stick it up the shit hurt
Moms wouldn't take me, the bitch still hates me
One day she said, "Go rake leaves," I said, "Make me!"
I'm proud to announce I'm probably the first kid
Who was kicked out of his house for making fart sounds with his mouth
Arguing with me and mom was on-going
She called the law enforcement when I broke the lawmower
The slut gave me a truck when I turned sixteen
I went to start it and it screamed, "Please fix me!"
Back then, when Will Smith was still the Fresh Prince
And him and Jeff were still best friends, I guess then
I decided to cut class to rap full time
And get the fuck outta the fake ass school and rhyme
Anybody who thinks this fuckin attitude is a gimmick
Come and see me, see if I don't live up to this image
You fucking pricks!
[Verse 2]
I came to my last show on a horse swingin' a lasso
Drunk with the asshole ripped out of an old bathrobe
'Cause I don't give a fuck, you better understand that
Two Xanax and I give a fuck what I SoundScan at
Fuck Billboard, drugs is what I kill for
I'm Happy Gilmore, you slip me anything in pill form
I may mingle but I plan to stay single
Play bingo and drink, get old and watch my face wrinkle
Sike, I'm 24 Thursday; six more birthdays
And I'm blowing my brains out when I'm thirty
As long as my heart beats I'ma keep tryin to see
How much speed I can eat before I fall the fuck asleep
So "I'm the Rapper, He's the DJ"
I'm the one thats got the six year old nephew screamin "F/U/C/K"
So Jeff, give me a scratch
Y'all can kiss my ass until your lips stick to my pants
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Eminem - Freestyle W/ D12 In Basement
In my mind I'm a fighter, my heart's a lighter
My soul is the fluid, my flow sparks it right up
Arsenic writer, author with arthiritis
Carpal tunnel, Marshall-will-start-shit-itis
Hard headed and hot headed, bull headed and pig headed
Dick headed, a prick, a big headache, I'm sick
Quick witted for every lyric spitted
There are 6 critics who wait for me to slip with it
So quick, this dynamite stick, bury the wick
It's gonna explode any minute, some lunatic lit it
And it's not Nelly, do not tell me to stop yelling
When I stop selling, I'll quit, so stop dwelling
I'm not felling, you fuckers are not ready
'Cause I got jelly, like Beyonce's pot belly
This is destiny, yes money I'm off running
So get off of me, I'm not slowing or softening
No apologies!
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Eminem - Weed Lacer Freestyle
Weed lacer, '97 burgundy Blazer
Wanted for burglary, had to ditch the Mercury Tracer
I'm on some loc ish,
Some fed up wit the being broke ish
I'm not to joke wit
Bitch, I don't sell crack, I smoke it
Having a coke fit and going through withdrawals daily
Shoot up with mescaline in front of my baby daughter Hailey
My brains dusted; I'm disgusted at all my habits
Too many aspirin tablets, empty medicine cabinets
Losing battles to wack rappers 'cause I'm always too blunted
Walkin' up in the cypher smokin', talkin' about, "Who want it?"
Thug and a crook; every drug in the book I've done it
My 9's at your brain, is that your chain? Run it
Crews die from an overdosage of excessive flavor
Aggressive nature got me stickin' you for your Progressive pager
Spectacular, battle rap manufacturer
Stole your mama's Acura, wrecked it and sold it back to her
Cruise in Nike jackets, escaped from psychiatrics
Told the nurse to save my bed for me
"I might be back Trick"
So barricade your entrance, put up some extra fences
A woman beater, wanted for repeated sex offenses
Chasing dips, take 'em on long vacation trips
Kid nappin' em' and trappin' em' in abusive relationships
Mess up your face and lips
Slit your stomach and watch your gut split
Gut you wit that razor that I use to shave my nuts with
Mama don't you cry, your son's too far gone
I'm so high, I don't even know what label I'm on
I'm messed up, I feel just like an over worked plumber
I'm sick of the crap, what's Jack Kevorkian's phone number?
DOWNLOAD MP3 HERE:
Eminem - Cage Diss Freestyle
Are you afraid of a blade made of a razor with AIDS
Blood dripping from it, ripping your stomach up from the waste up?
You talk a lot of junk, but you was never ill though
I'm strong enough to beat you to death with a feather pillow
Tipped over some cows just for a joke and a laugh
Jumped up, choked a giraffe, snapped it's neck and broke it in half
Waging wars, went on stage and sprayed +Cage+ with +Agent Orange+
Then whiped my ass with his page in Source
The demon is here, I'm steaming this year
I ripped Mystikal's voice box out and screamed in his ear
It's not a gimmick, trick it's an image, I live it
Give a damn? I don't know what a damn is to give it
Man, I don't think this guy's well, I'm high as hell
I'll beat you with a live cat while I'm swinging him buy his tail
I'll frickin! I'll frickin.. lay your nuts on the dresser
Just your nut sack by itself and bang them stuffs with a spiked bat
Cut your neck off and glue your head right back and leave you like that
You just triggered a prick who just mixed liquor
Who's itchin to leave you disfigured and stiffer than Christopher
Reeves, I was teething with strep throat when your mother was breast feeding
And gave it a flesh eating disease
I'm iller than taking a hammer and beating your knees
And walking through South Central, LA bleeding in jeans
Flashing back to being shot and repeating the scene
On how you just got smoked
And if you do live you'll be too scared to tell it
Like a Biggie & Pac joke
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Eminem - Wake Up Show Freestyle (Feat. The Notorious B.I.G.)
Broke the rubber, busted a nut up in your mother
So how you feel about having another little brother?
Nasty motherfucker, talking like a trucker
Snatch your bitch up out your track, smacked her up and fucked her
Always talk shit high, smoking chocolate Thai
So ya'll can die, just for walking by giving an awkward eye
I've lost my mother-fricking marbles
Smelling like a brewery, jeweling at the way your jewelry sparkles
Head full of charcoals, smoked out brain particles
Burning holes in clothes articles
A retarded fool since I started school
Burn the weed before I learned to read, disregarded rules
Skipped the classes to blaze the blunt ashes
Kissing front dashes and smashing up cars like stunt crashes
Hall passes for rest rooms, chewing mushrooms
Doing rush fumes in the lunch room, looking nervous
Liquor in my thermos, hung with hermits
That carry guns without permits
Staring at the bitch with firm tits
Jacking off aiming straight for both lips when my sperm spits
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Eminem - Wake Up Show Freestyle (Feat. Planet Asia)
When I do pop pills, I keep my tube socks filled
And pop the same shit that got Tupac killed
Spit game to these hoes like a soap opera episode
And punch a bitch in the nose 'til her whole face explodes
There's 3 things I hate: girls, women and bitches
I'm that vicious, to walk up and drop kick bitches
They call me Boogie Night, the stalker that walks awkward
Stick figure with a dick bigger than Mark Wahlberg
Coming through the airport sluggish, walking on crutches
And hit a fucking pregnant bitch in the stomach with luggage
It's like a dream I can't snap out
I black out, I'm back out
Looking for someone 'of' to beat the 'crap out'
I'm bringing you rap singers 2 middle fingers
To flip you off in French then translate it in English
Then I'ma vanish from the face of this planet
And come back speaking so much Spanish
Pun can't even understand it
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Eminem - It's Only Fair To Warn Freestyle
It's only fair to warn I was born with a set of horns
And metaphors attached to my dang umbilical cord
Warlord of rap that'll bash you with a 2x4 board
And smash into your Honda Accord with a 4-door Ford
But I'm more toward dropping an a capella
To chop a fella to mozzarella
Worse than a helicopter propeller
Got you locked in a cellar, with your skeleton showing
Developing anorexia, while I'm standing next to ya
Eating a full course meal watching you starve to death
With an IV in your vein feeding you liquid Darvocet
Pumping you full of drugs, pull the plugs
On the gunshot victims, full of bullet slugs
Who were picked up in an ambulance and driven
To Receiving, with the asses ripped out of they pants and given
A less than 20% chance in living
Have a possible placement as a hospital patient
Storing the dead bodies in grandma's little basement
Dr. Kevorkian has arrived
To perform an autopsy on you, while you scream, "I'm still alive!"
Driving a rusty scalpel in through top of your scalp
And pulling your Adam's apple out through your mouth
Better call the fire department, I've hired an arson
To set fire to carpet and burn up your entire apartment
The most important type of Eminem merchandise available is of course his classic albums. From the early days of Infinite to his most recent Relapse project, they are all classics. You are sure to find new and unheard material by searching through this section of the store. Happy hunting!
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